Photo of The Day.

A long awaited series.

Studio FM.

Today I finished editing all of the photos from the Martinez Women's Street Center/Studio FM pin-hole workshop. They are developed and ready to be delivered. While there was a total of 45 cameras made, few visible images could be printed. The camera is very stubborn, and since its made by hand, attention to detail is essential. But thats not the point. 45 girls now know how to make their own pin-hole camera. They all constructed them, and thats enough to make me happy.

I get to go by tomorrow and drop off what I have for them, I am so excited to see their reaction. I was notified that I have a "special juice box article in the newspaper." Studio FM produces a newspaper done by the girls involved in the program.  I have a tendency to get emotional at times, I hope I don't cry when I see it, I've been known to do so, haha. 

Here are a few of the images that the girls produced, I think they are beautiful, just like the girls that made them:

If you look close enough you can see what seems to be a telephone pole in the upper left corner.

Can you see her neck and shoulder?

The side of the building, do you see it? Two corners meet near the middle.

My imagination wonders when I look at this. It has served its purpose.

This is ones my favorites..

I didn't want those whose film was especially stubborn, and I wasn't able to develop a print for, to walk away empty handed. I made these for them:

I really hope I get to work with them again in the near future, I'm crossing my fingers :)

I LOVE SWINGERS!

"The Polaroid Model 20 'Swinger' was a popular camera produced by the Polaroid Corporation between 1965 and 1970. At $19.95 USD it was the first truly inexpensive instant camera."

CLICK HERE TO SEE A LIVE SWINGER!

Photo of The Day.

I am currently on the search for San Antonio's best fruit cup. Ohhh, life is tough.

Rico with his photograph.

If your the type of person that judges a book by its cover, then your life is utterly limited. 

Kissy Kamikaze Kicks ass.

My flash pointing up at the stage lights created a milky light on her.

When I was in NY I went to a spot to hear Punk/Garage/Hardcore band Kissy Kamikaze. I new even before hearing them that I was going to be enamored by them. I play Rollerderby, and the lady above (SUZY HOTROD), playing guitar, is one of Rollerderby's best players (Gotham Girls Rollerderby), and on top that she's a badass guitar player, and singer, and she does it all in NYC. The stage was totally cool, and they energized the crowd better than any band I have seen in a very long time. AND I love the lead singers name, "Tibbie X." 

I am a huge advocate of strong females. In fact my blog is seriously lacking in female representation, patriarchy,ugh. 

Everything about Kissy Kamikaze stole my heart, they're a great band. They represent so much, hopefully some time soon I will be able to make it to their shows on a frequent basis...

Check them out here!

Photo of The Day.

I know that I already posted part of the series, but I have fallen in love with these images.  I bought this German Mecablitz flash without really knowing too much about it. It's difficult to find accessories for my Pentax, without ordering everything online. So I took a chance on it, I really disliked it for a while, but now, I adore it. It takes these tiny little lithium batteries that look like mini soda cans (cute), that are like $8 each, and the flash takes two. It has a very retro appearance as well. It looks like something from a dirty-downtown-80's-foreign street scenario. It eats up batteries like crazy, I can usually shoot continiously for like an hour before the flash starts taking forever to recharge. It lets out a blinding white burst that washes over everything. It's absolutely beautiful, it stops motion without any room for consideration. I just wish it wasn't such a hassle to operate.

 I am huge fan of Martha Cooper and Weegee (I got the coolest Martha Cooper shirt at YRB in NYC, it makes me drool). I'm beginning to fall in love with black and white all over again. The combination of my flash and B&W completely rearranges the image.

Yesterday I listened to an interview with photographer Marion Ettlinger, she photographs authors, and is very well known. She said in her interview that she doesn't even own lights, and her equipment is as basic at it comes. I knew immediately that I had it all wrong for a moment there. For a second I started to put equipment first, I thought that I needed all of this stuff in order to really succeed, what the shit was I on? What a ridiculous thought, I am a little embarrassed by it. 

I think my niche is unfolding. I don't want anything fancy, I want to to keep it as simple as possible. I want to know exactly how and why my equipment works the way it does.

Fancy and big is not me. 

Can anyone show me how to roll my own film?

Please come back Skinny..

Skinny was above average, he had some very peculiar human-like qualities. He was my cat, I was his favorite, and he was mine. Jay and I talk to our cats like they are humans, we have conversation, ask them how their day was, and tell them we love them, and they always respond.  

Sometimes Skinny didn't feel like talking, sometimes he would roll his eyes at us, and sometimes he would look up at us like "your blocking my sun," he was definitely my cat. 

I would give anything to kiss his little paws one more time..

Photo of The Day.

Manny y Victor. Manny (on the left) passed away earlier this year. He was the executive director of San Anto Cultural Arts, and the reason why I am a part of the orginazation.  I remember the night I met Manny and how he invited me to be a part of San Anto, it was a life altering moment. His death was a shock to the community. Manny embodied the organic intellectual. He gave me so much, and I like to think that he is up there watching over all of us. This photo was taken last year at San Anto's summer photo exhibit for 2008.  The 2009 exhibit happens next week on Friday August 7th. 

I met Victor (on the right) through San Anto years ago, he's a photographer, and a funny guy. My very first photography show will be at his space on September 5th. wow. 

The following poem was written by westside poet Nephtali Deleon when Manny passed away. He read it at the burial site. His voice boomed the words, and for the poem the world stood still, I felt something that I have never felt before, or felt since. I'm not a religious person, I don't believe in a God, but it's moments like that, that make me questions if I am on the wrong side of it all. 

Unto the world came a child

Nov 3, 1968

and he was named Dios dado

given by the Gods

the sea conch and huehuetl boomed

and the quetzal feathers gleamed

and the gods gathered upon mount teotihuacan

what shall we do with this strange new youth?

and they called upon the tlamatinime the wise

you, xochiquetzal, get your brother xochipilli,

give him the colors of your soul, and Tlaloc,

give him your ayauh-coça-malotl – your rainbow,

let him paint the tepantli -- walls,

powerful forever – tlacuilol-tepantli – murals,

and you cuica-matini, give him the rhythm

and the music of your drums!

and the wind eehcatl came along

and he blew the spirirt life – yoli-liztli –

and they sent him to the west side of San Anto

for it was written so by ipalnemoani,

omecihuatl, ometoeotl, the givers of life…

and he took up his cross after Holy cross High school

by the Alazan Apache courts he played with a chicken egg

could we have Chicano royalty here?

a king and queen huevo?

this had to be something real nuevo,

already displaying his roots

he runs into patti and rod, juan ramos, cruz ortíz

he’s got dreams bigger than aztlán, he wants to play the

drum…

he’s on the edge of Chicano evolution,

got a revolution in his soul

space and time change, walls begin to have a names

“Bright days,” “Sweet as Candy Lowridier mural,”

this quiet and shy cool cat guy got a heart as big as the

sky creates Placazo, barrio news-gram tortilla grafitti

barrio art, prison art, paño art, young cool reporters

fluid mellow hot they put society on the spot

while manny Castillo, his earthbound name, makes his

own fame got his own group -- los Snowbyrds rocking

sound band!

he celebrates giants in the urban city street scene

like trine, ram de tacoland, and randy garibay

you know them dudes, them cats who never sleep…

gets mighty talents crews from the highway lands dark

but he’s never in command he’s just the might spark

gets video crews, holiday jams, and stained glass in the

park!

36 murals and he’s forty years old, the Gods they think

we gotta make a recall,

we need this dude to spruce up our hall!

but titan Manny touched so many – us, the common folks

he reached far and wide to turn the tide, told our barrio we

got pride he pulled the colors from our soul

rainbow colors bold

taught the walls to come alive with visionary hope…

if there is a confusion because of his profusion

let me correct the news that say he was no arteest!

he was the greatest artist of all with a giant palette

every person was a brush and a music disquette

he pulled the paint from our souls young and old

magic weaver we were threads in his mighty magic loom

barrio flying carpets he gave wings to our dreams

greater artist our barrio has not seen!

Manny Diosdado Castillo the flags of Aztlán

fly at half mast and the gods will request of us poor mortal

folks

that this day never die from the memory of men

from the memory of children the memory of women folks

for you Manny Castillo still have to paint a mighty tapestry

in heaven of the earth-bound things you inspired in us all

and the legends of a wonder native son grow as we speak

when the Gods lent your soul to our San Antonio streets!

R.I.P por vida Manny Castillo.

Photo of The Day.

Who are you foreign man? My camera cuts through language barriers like a knife through flan, or maybe like a knife through in season mango, oh man, mango and sticky rice...huh??  HAHAHA. I crack myself up.

Desperately seeking B-Girls.

I'm lucky enough to be exposed to creative cultures and communities. My boyfriend can dance, in fact, we met on the dance floor 10 years ago. Yeeeears ago he started Djing for a weekly B-Boy practice session through a Youth Advocate program. Since then he has stabilized a place within that community, thrown and been a part of major B-Boy events, and traveled to New York to practice and learn from some of the earliest "Rockers." Up-rocking is a type of urban dance generalized within break-dancing, with a very interesting history, and is my favorite. He is creating a history in this city, and I usually go along for the ride.

This past weekend we went to the second annual Don't Mess With Texas B-Boys event in Austin. Jay Djs the event, and my camera and I have a field day.

I have some opinions regarding B-Boy culture, the presence of B-Girls within that culture, and how a patriarchal society is played out within it. It's a very masculine dance, or is it? Every event I go to I anticipate seeing B-Girls , and almost every time I walk away disappointed. There are always so few females within the crowd, and even fewer B-Girls dancing. I understand there is a huge B-Girl community, I just don't have access to it at the moment. I crave it when I go to these events, and nothing makes me happier than to see strong females create their own space within a community that is male dominated.

I have developed a theory in photographing B-Girl/Boys. It is a definite luxury to have a very large/fast camera and a equally large flash. But, I have neither. So along with some technical tools, I use the music to help me photograph. I'm familiar with B-Boy jams, I know some of the more popular songs, and I understand musical arrangement, drops, breaks, etc.

So, I use the coupling of the dancer and the music, how the dancer responds to the music, and I try to anticipate moves. I follow the dancer with my camera, angle it according to my taste, try as best I can to focus, and when I feel a move coming on I press my release...and hope for a good photo.

So in the end I rely on my camera, and my camera relies on me. It doesn't do all the work for me, which is the case with so many photographers, in my humble opinion. I have never been comfortable with referring to myself as a photographer. It's almost as if I felt I didn't yet deserve the title. But when you go to bed thinking about photography, and you wake up at 7 a.m. in anticipation of the photos your gonna take that day, or the projects your gonna work on, and you start theorizing about photography at any open opportunity, and when you get to the point where you see a photo you have taken and you get emotional about, be it good or bad, or you have the audacity to think that maybe what you love to do could help the world around you, you start to become comfortable with the label, you deserve it. I hope I deserve it.

Here are a few from the event. Enjoy..

I had an excellent week.

Some of the strongest, most inspiring people I have ever met:

This was the group (minus a few) who I worked with all week. With the lead of AWESOME PHOTOGRAPHER Mark Menjivar we studied, taught, and experimented with photography all week. We went out into the community and documented a real side of San Anto, and if you ask me, the best side of it. I am so excited about the exhibit, Friday August 7th at Guadalupe Street Coffee cafe, please come!

Photo of The Day.

What if place was ambiguous. What if our physical possessions never played a part in our story. Once we start compiling a list of peoples possessions we create a story for them. We determine how happy or unhappy they must be based on our narrow assumptions. 

This little lady lived in a castle in  the sky. Everything tangible and intangible is within reach for her. She played on clouds everyday and was surrounded by people that adored her. She has everything she needs in order to survive and succeed. You can see the happiness in her face.

.....or this little girl lived in the Cassiano home projects, in a barely furnished apartment. The grass was brown and burnt, and the heat seemed as if it could melt the bottom of her chanclas and burn her little feet. BUT she had the biggest smile I had seen all day. When I showed her the photo I took of her she smiled and her eyes twinkled, and her happiness rubbed off on me, and I thank her for that. 

Is it for all the wrong reasons?

I wonder why some people seek an alternative family environment outside of their own. 

When I was younger I new quite a few people in gangs, and they were always nice to me..

Beneath the subject.

In photography some people shoot below a subject to give the person a sense of power or strength.

I didn't portray anything in this photograph that these young girls didn't already have. To me, you can see strength in their faces. 

:)

He had a beautiful smile. 

Photo of The Day.

I met this young lady while photographing at the Cassiano homes. A set of projects on the westside of San Antonio. This little girl tore at my heart, I thought about her all day today.  Everything about the way she stood, the way she watched me walk away, and her seemingly abandoned surroundings, told me she didn't want us to leave. It really hurt. I could have her story all wrong, but I know what I felt.  I would like to go back and see her, and invite her to join San Anto.

Heart Broken.

Today my pet, my cat, my handsome little man passed away. I had him for almost 12 years. I held it in all day today, but at the first moment alone, I would break down. I keep thinking that he's still here...because I don't know how to accept that he is gone...

R.I.P. my Skinny...

R.I.P.  my baby...I'm not sure how to live without you..

The world will be a good place in the future.

She is super smart. I got the chance to meet her mother, I can see why she is so bright.

The first in my Lowrider series.

Photo of The Day.

Photo of The Day.

The ceiling of Joe's Aluminum Shop (wes-side!).

Photo of The Day.

LUCY (has an amazing story)...

Kids with cameras!

Yesterday was the first day of San Anto Cultural Art's Summer photo project. The project will culminate in a photo exhibit on August 7th at the Guadalupe Street Coffee cafe, located at 1320 Guadalupe st. The exhibit will contain photos taken by the participants, whom the majority of are youth. This is the second year I have participated in the project, and most of the kids I have worked with before.  It takes place over a span of 4 days. The kids are taught about composition, perspective, the functions of a digital camera, and much more. Every day we go to different spots (of their choice) within the community and they take photos incorporating the techniques they are taught. 

The level of creativity within the kids amazes me. They catch on so quick and produce images as if they had been doing it a life time already. All they need is a small amount of information and they run with it, make it their own, and in the end, they teach us as much as we teach them. They are simply naturals, and it makes me wonder what kind of world we would live in, if early on we all had access to creative and artistic education. 

San Anto Cultural Arts is producing and teaching the future artists of our community. I am so lucky to be a part of the project and a part of the organization. I don't know how I could ever thank them enough..

KIDS (and a few adults) WITH CAMERAS!