Young, Gifted, and Brown.

Mas Rudas Collective: Operation Canis Familiaris.

MARCH 18, 2010. Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center,

Galeria Tonantzin, 723 S. Brazos, San Antonio, Texas.

artists curating artists exhibition.

Cool Stuff.

YES! YES! YES!

Broken Brick Distro.

Tough.

Mas Rudas have chosen to address a very serious issue for our next show. I realize that I have attempted to sugar coat my piece in some way or another, and it's completely impossible for me to do. I realize that in creating something, I have to throw myself into a place that I don't necessarily want to be. I have to confront and see things I chose to ignore on a daily basis, because I don't know what else to do. It's a sense of hopelessness that permeates a people who notice.

In getting ready for the show I have thought about everything but where I have to go, and I know why, because where I have to go is gonna be really hard for me to handle.

Circa 2002.

I follow the blogs of the MFA students that attend the photography school I want to go to. The school actually keeps a blog where the students post their assignments for the world to see and critique. I could get lost in that blog for days, it's already happened.

One of the assignments they did was to make a list of 50 things "you never do," when taking a photograph. You pick 5 of those things, and you do them.

I think it's genius, on so may levels. For the upcoming show I have decided to shoot with film. I'm gonna step out of my digital comfort zone and challenge myself. I have become too comfortable with my digital camera. It's time to take a different direction.

I spent some time scanning in some old negatives. In 2002 I took my first (and only) photography class, I had just purchased a Nikon Fm10 (completely manual film camera), and I was in love with it. It's the same camera I will use to shoot for the show in March.

Back in the day...

(that's me)

We have a name.

After some months, we have finally come up with a name for our collective. I think it fits:

MÁS RUDAS: CHICANA COLLECTIVE

C/S

Mas Rudas first gallery show.

March 18, 2010 will be the first gallery show for Mas Rudas: Chicana Collective.

@ The Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center Galeria Tonantzin

This is a big deal for us, because none of us, at any point feels automatically entitled to such things. At the same time we are so excited that we, as woman of color, have been given this opportunity to represent who we are and where we come from creatively. It's an amazing feeling to represent your home, when it has been misrepresented in so many ways, for so long. When you wonder the streets of your city and hardly ever see a reflection of yourself within the things that are considered landmarks, or valuable. Proper representation is deep, and while it is subjective, there is a flavor and knowledge that is clear when appreciation is at the root. I attended a lecture on the topic of Art and Culture once, it was emphasized that art, at it's best, comes from the streets. When I say "from the streets," I don't mean to appropriate an urban culture that is negative and glorified at the same time. I'm not "from the streets," I never struggled in that sense, and I find it especially sad when people glorify the lifestyle, because if you were really "from the streets," it may not be something that you would want to necessarily perpetuate. I understand that "from the streets," is bought and sold just like sombrero hats at the market square, but let me clarify what I mean. When I say "from the streets," I mean from the community, I mean it starts in the people, every day people.

At this point we are solidifying details for the show. We don't have much time...but I have found a source of inspiration for myself:

Mas Rudas have a less than a month to produce a body of work. Wish us luck..

Stay tune for mas details!!

Visual Literacy and Foto Chemistry.

I am a self-diagnosed visual learner. I was reading about learning styles recently and I have all the symptoms:

-Likes pictures (duh!)

-Neat surroundings (well, I try ::polishes nails on shoulder)

-Reading to self

-A quiet working environment

-Organize thoughts by writing things down

-Visualization

-Step-by-step written instructions

And I do things like this:

One of my year long goals is to make a darkroom in our storage area. It was a summer goal but my schedule is phat at the moment. I am currently reading about and taking notes on everything needed to construct one. Right now I am reading about foto chemistry, it's the entire process of how to mix chemicals, measurements, D-76 and Dektrol, etc. It's so freaking exciting. So I am taking notes in a way that satisfies my learning preferences. I draw little things to accompany the explanations.

I visualized making an entire short film with fotos and drawings, teaching the chemical process between the emulsion on the foto and the developer. It would be nice to show to budding photographers, it's a necessary piece of information, and sort of brings everything full circle. So I take this little book of notes wherever I go, and I work on it a bit here, a bit there. When it's done, I'll put it all together and see what happens.

NY (see you soon)

I have been thinking about this NY series I started a while back, I hope I have some time soon to really complete it..The plan is to print these on a massive scale. I think it's the detail that makes me adore this series. It's like they took on a life of their absolute own, minus me.

Ledaswan.

I recently photographed the band Ledaswan, and I had a great time. I never know what to expect when I photograph musicians, so I try to not project or formulate how I will capture them until I get there, meet them, and get a feel of the band. I think if you go into it already knowing what you are going to do, how your gonna pose them, etc., your not really capturing them, there is some artificiality to it, that is sometimes communicated through the photos. I'd like to stay away from that.

I took many fotos of the band, but after a while I really wanted to take some images that reflected what it felt like to be in their practice space. It was small, cozy, and LOUD. I was encircled by a 5 piece band jamming their hearts out, and every part of my body was vibrating. Not because I was dancing, although it would have been awesome to chill and really enjoy the sound, to get lost in their dreamy music would have been a great. I felt every single drum beat, every string from the guitar as if it had originated in me, and was shaking around and rhythmatically beating my insides.

I wanted to make some images the reflected the movement and vibration, something that really portrayed what it felt like to be in close quarters, to be invited in, with them. So I adjusted my settings, and these are the results:

Thank you to Ledaswan for having me..

Viva La Revolucion.

San Anto Cultural Arts' has an amazing oral history project. It's rooted in video, while the subject is interviewed by one of the students, our videographer films. I document the process through fotos. Last week we interviewed and recorded a Brown Beret from the southside of San Anto, born and raised. He warmly invited us into his cozy home, we had cupcakes (because it was his birthday), he explained to us that he was very sick, and he may leave this world soon...and he left us with his one wish. His story was inspiring, and his knowledge and advice, invaluable. The oral history project is a biography of a people that are rarely recognized in the history books. For multiple reasons they are overlooked, but we know better than to forget these important individuals, because within them, is our history as well. This man, and his coalition, although they had never meet me before, fought the system for me, and my family, and my friends, and the people I love..

"Education and knowledge is your weapon."

Dear ......

To the students I work with at the school-

I don't have any formal teacher training, and I have never been taught how to deal with kid's emotional problems. But I was once your age, and I had many problems of my own, sorry mom....

In retrospect I realize that I would have benefitted from a mentor, so that's why I'm here, I see a little of me in you. Someone recently told me that working with kids like you, although I refuse to stereotype you, is impossible to do forever, because apparently it kills dreams. I don't believe that for a second, but I think I may know why some adults feel that way. I think it's because you have an unusual strength, a strength built by you in response to your surroundings, it's necessary and won't be conquered. You know more than we give you credit for, and you have already realized that this world you are being built for is hypocritical, unfair, boring, and demeaning at times. You have an energy that was long ago purposefully diluted in us, and some of your adult peers find yours inappropriate, and want to water you down. I suggest you fight that, run, yell, move, laugh, and wiggle so that your smile never fades. I'd like to apologize if I seem like I know more than you all the time, because I don't, and I don't intend to pretend like I do. I won't falsify things for you. I think your natural state is of a natural progression and the real world fills you with synthetics until what's natural is extinct. Don't be the death of your race, work hard to understand healthy, fair, positive, constructive, happy, valuable, and you. If you do, you will remain strong and unbroken, and within you will grown the revolution that is longed for.

A new friend, a true revolutionary, told me the the other day that "education and knowledge is your weapon," so don't be mislead by a world who labels you destructive, a menace, a lost hope, a stereotype, at-risk..Don't fight back with the negativity that is instilled in you by society. Fight back by proving them wrong---like when they tell you NO, and you say YES....that's what I'm talking about.

Never would I have thought that I would end up here, working with you, working at the school my parents went to. They told me "It was bad back then..." I don't think it's bad...and my parents turned out to amazing, intellegent people, and so can you. Yo prometo.

"If education should really mean anything at all, it must insist upon the free growth and development of the innate forces and tendencies of the child. In this way alone can we hope for the free individual and eventually also for a free community, which shall make interference and coercion of human growth impossible."

-Emma Goldman on Youth Liberation

In solidarity,

Mari

First Female Lead Fotographer

2010 will be the year of San Anto Cultural Arts' 3rd annual summer foto project. This year I am the project's FIRST FEMALE LEAD FOTOGRAPHER (yeah, I think that's pretty cool, too). Doope.

This means I am responsible for completely constructing the workshop, which is 5 days long and last for about 5-6 hours a day. In the end the groups work will be put on display in a show of their very own.

This year is a year of firsts for the workshop. Not only am I the FIRST FEMALE LEAD FOTOGRAPHER, but this year the students will have their show in real gallery space, and I say that because in the past their shows have been in spaces that weren't solely for art. They will visit photography studios for the first time, and they will work with a combination of sound and photography to produce multimedia works that are sure to be the bomb. This year instead of focusing on the community they come from, their work will centered on the individual photographer.

This is gonna be deep....

A week long workshop may seem like lots of time, which leaves my head swarming and overflowing with multiple topics and assignments. The reality of working and teaching 15-25 students (our group goal) fotography, makes a weeks time not nearly enough.

For the past 2 years I was the additional photographer, I was the assistant to the lead. I know exactly what to expect, and above all I know what sort of amazing and beautiful images the group will produce. The workshop will take place in June, and their show will be in July. I'm already preparing, because every detail needs to be checked, so that these students walk away with a positive, educational, and inspirational experience. Every year we have worked with a group of diverse young adults, that walk away with their head held high, and some cash flow in their pocket after their foto has sold.

We intend to blow some minds. So mark July 10th 2010 on your calendars for:

SAN ANTO CULTURAL ARTS' 2010 SUMMER FOTO PROJECT: Producing San Anto's sure to be lead fotographers.

(Daniela teaching a nino how to focus)

Internalizing home.

I was one told that home is inside of you, it's wherever you go, because it's not embodied by your physical surroundings-in fact, our attachment to physical things actually leads to problems and may be the source of unhappiness. Some of us spend time perfecting a personal space, constructing an area that emits and encompasses us, a place where the walls are a clear reflection of our past, dreams, goals, and creative expression. Sometimes it's like a creative to-do list, our surroundings may mimic where we want to go, because we haven't quite made it there yet. I pin up fotos, I tape quotes, and I project myself onto the walls because who you are, is what you surround yourself with. I believe in the power of visual literacy, and I prefer my home to speak to me positively, to pat me on the back, and to remind me that I intend to lead, and not follow. Because we know that the outside world has the ability to diminish you and your dreams, it insults our visual taste, and dumbs down our intelligence by using images to persuade instead of educate. What I also realize is the I am privileged enough to have a roof over my head, in where I can create my own world. But what happens when you don't? How do I wrap up everything thats important and speaks to me, and lock it inside to carry it with me wherever I go-so that no matter where I end up, home is ever present?

Last summer I thought by now that I would have moved, I would be attending the photography school that I had chosen, and I would be sorely missing "home" in my new environment. So I made a plan, I determined finances, I spoke to the necessary people, and I realized that if I was gonna do this right, I needed to wait....

Usually I would have had no problem taking out a lifetime of loans, packing my stuff, and leaving loose ends and people behind. But I want this too bad to not be careful along the way. I know the school I want to get in to only accepts the most serious, prepared, educated, and devoted of photographers. They want people that take initiative, and have a good balance of academic plus real world skills. Plus I don't plan on paying for school out of my own pocket, again.

So here I am, getting ahead, securing, preparing, and backing up my goals and intentions. I'm amazed at the opportunities that have come, and continue to come my way. Sometimes I feel as if someone is watching over me, making sure that I do my job, and I live up to my word, while they create a clear path studded with everything I really want and need along the way. And all of these experiences are embodied inside of me, so that wherever I go, when I get there, I will be at home.

Oh, snap.

One of the projects I have in the making is a wheat paste workshop and throw up (not as in regurgitating but as in [in this case, legally, since this project is for the ninas/os] putting a fancy piece on the wall, and makin' the building look all "urban" fancy.) I truly appreciate the public attempts at beautifying the community through public work, for everyone, done by anyone. Let me clarify that I don't appreciate tags and graff that make my neighborhood look deprecating and immature. We are going to be working with fotographs, taken by the participants.

BOOYA: SAN ANTO CULTURAL ARTS' 2010 WHEAT PASTE THROW UP.

I'm putting together the workshop, and my fellow Chicana Colectiva members are assisting in running and documenting the process. It gives the young participants a sense of art outside of white walls. Art that reflects them and their community, put on display indiscriminately.

This is the building that we will be beautifying with fotographs.

Don't know what wheat pasting is? ----> READ ME

STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS! on all upcoming projects. Including: San Anto's 2010 Summer Foto Project, San Anto's poetry and foto night with Krazy Vatos, La Colective collaborations with inner city schools, y La Colectiva in L.A....yes, as in Los Angeles.

Paz!