My Chutter [CHU ter] n-Spanglish for a device that limits the passage of light into a camera.

Preparing for POP YO TRUNK!

2010-10-08T08:58:00.000-07:00

(please)

This Saturday is POP YO TRUNK, we will be making Guadalupe st. our gallery. I decided to take this opportunity to introduce my photography project to the public. So I made stuff, and prepared my speech. I will be selling buttons, totes, stickers, fanny packs, and patches. All of which have been silk screened, sewn, pressed by hand by me (and 2 people who I don't know what I would do without, Joe De La Cruz and my husband, JJ Lopez). I would like to thank my awesome and supportive friends who really helped me in attaining the things I needed to make everything. PURO DIY!

So, again, my goal: Raise $5000.00 in order to purchase (2) lap tops and (15) digital cameras (for now). With this equipment in addition to a curriculum I am building I will then be able to take my photography workshop into non-profits, after school programs, museums, etc. Having the necessary equipment and resources means whoever is hosting my workshop will not have to provide me with the tools, I will already have it all. And the effect: Making photography more accessible to the youth of our city....for FREE.

If you are in the area come by POP YO TRUNK and help me reach my goal, please.

buttons.

totes.

stickers.

fanny pack with patch.

patch, also available in pink.

Stickers.

2010-09-25T09:48:00.003-07:00

Get your very own sticker and support youth in fotography! (stickers on their way)

No doubt.

2010-09-24T14:34:00.000-07:00

You may have reservations about donating your money to help me reach my goal of $5,000. A kid with a camera? You may think what's the big deal? I can assure you, to educate is to motivate. To teach a skill gives an individual assurance and purpose. To provide opportunity where there is a lack of, is to empower the powerless.

Over the summer one of my jobs was to be the lead photographer for San Anto Cultural Arts photo week. I have folders full of photographs that the kids took. I think it's time to share them. Here are just a few of the snapshots they took with disposable cameras. They were each given a camera at the beginning of the week and told to tell the audience a story of their lives through photographs. Here are a few of the results:

These photographs were taken by students between the ages of 8 and 15 years old.

The plan.

2010-09-24T10:26:00.000-07:00

The idea of putting together a permanent mobile (youth) photography program that I can take wherever I would like has been in the making for a while. Based off of my experiences working with youth and facilitating photography workshops I have compiled my needs. The plan is basic, and I have a few goals that I intend to meet while I work through the details of planning the program/curriculum.

I need $5,000 ::crickets::

It's a good thing I am half optimist, because I feel confident in reaching my goal. I know how I will attain funds.

Q: What's the $5,000 for?

A: O, I'm so glad you asked. It's to purchase 15 digital cameras and 2 laptop computers.

Q: Who will use this rig of very nice equipment?

A: The Nin@s!

Q: What is the name of your program?

A: That's a hard one, I have been brainstorming. I've spent many hours on rhymezone searching for words that rhyme with Photo, but to no avail. It will come to me..

Q: Where will you conduct workshops?

A: In the hood, at community centers, at arts organizations, apartment buildings, at the park, in the schools, at museums.

Q: How are you gonna raise all this money, mija?

A: For now I have some merchandise in the making. I have my eye on this nice little artist grant. Kind donors and supporters of youth in the arts.

Q: Do you think this can really happen? Do you think you can make a program, attain equipment, and empower youth through photography?

A: No doubt.

It's on.

Sources.

2010-09-23T10:25:00.001-07:00

My two sources of inspiration for my next long term goal:

Tony Rocco

and

Donna Ferrato

Why fight it.

2010-09-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

On June 25th 2009 I wrote my first blog, and I used this space as a chronicle of accomplishments (and setbacks as well). A year and some months later I hope that it will serve it's purpose once again. I set a few goals for myself, and Im proud to say that I lived up to them, plus some.

Here I am again, with ideas and goals in mind. I have no choice but to take the plunge, I allow myself to follow the signs, and trust me. The once far fetched anticipation of photography school still hovers close. My love for photography, and working with youth is a definite fact. I must face it, I have to keep going and take the next step. What's hard to face down is the nagging pull of security. It's hard to fight myself, when the tendency to settle and give in seems like the best thing to do. How do I conjure that youthful indifference to complacency that fueled me for so long. It's been a while since I needed to do that.

I'm working on my plan, I'm pulling at my resources, and I'm gonna go for it (once again).

The first thing I need is a name. A name for my photography program for youth. A program that will be free to participants, one where they will each have a camera to use and computers and programs to learn and work with. It's time to build my rig of equipment. Here is my most recent addition, a Beseler enlarger:

Wish me luck.

My Homegirl Kristin

2010-09-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

The series I did of Kristin for our show "HOMEGIRLS" in Wilmington.

Los Angeles, California.

Texas Humidity.

2010-07-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

I think our TX humidity is under appreciated. I have been busy enough to where I haven't been able to shoot the randomness that I love so much. Gotta make more time for that.

San Anto Cultural Arts 2010 Summer Foto Week crew.

2010-06-22T08:52:00.001-07:00

I was the lead fotographer for San Anto Cultural Arts 2010 Summer Foto Week. We had four days to teach photography to the participants (ranging in ages from 7-16 yrs old). We had an amazing time, each time I reflect my eyes water.

Our show is July 10th at the Smart Project Space, located at 1906 S Flores. Stay tuned for a foto recap and for details on our youth fotography show.

At the end of the first day we shared written reflections with each other. I told them a long time ago I dreamed of one day teaching kids photography, and now they now, that they made me dream come true.

Más Rudas 2010.

2010-06-11T19:50:00.001-07:00

My Homegirls.

c/s

What I have been up to lately.

2010-06-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Maria.

2010-06-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the end feels like the beginning, and the beginning feels like the end. I have been holding on tight lately. Unsure of which direction I will be going, I have been giving myself pep talks, reminding me that I can do it, that I can take whatever is thrown my way. I worry a lot, and you know those times when you suddenly realize how insignificant the stress you construct is, I had one of those moments recently.

My aunt Chavela (Chach) is one of the most loving persons in this world (no exaggeration here). She takes care of elderly men and women, she does it all, when they have no one else left, they have her. She called me recently and explained she needed a favor, she needed me to photograph one of her patients, Maria. Maria was in the process of arranging for her funeral and she needed a recent photograph for her tombstone. My aunt said we needed to do it immediately because the Dr.s give Maria a few months, max, to live.

I wasn't sure what to think of photographing a dying person. Really? How do you go and take tombstone portraits of an individual? I was forced to not think about it until the next day when I drove up to her small home on 29th street. I cleared my mind of expectation and I knew I was about to step into something heavy, and I would leave changed in some way.

Maria came to the states when she was 13 years old, with her best friend. She wanted a better life for herself, and my aunt (with a proud smile on her face) said she did exactly that. She never married, the man she was with and who fathered her children, was abusive. She has no family left here, they remain in Mexico. Her neighbors watch her very closely, and they take care of her when my aunt isn't there. They half-suspiciously watched me from their porch as I walked through the metal fence with my equipment, I think they knew why I was there.

She was a seamstress and a waitress and was very involved in politics and immigration rights. My aunt described her as feisty and proud, saying she always stood up for herself and demanded respect, even today. My aunt has taken care of her for 16 years and watching them interact comforted me.

Any nervousness I was feeling Maria quickly squashed. She hugged me when I walked in and laughed and talked the whole time. My aunt had to remind her to use her walker, she seemed to forget she needed it to be stable. Maria's blind and her hearing is going, but you would have never known.

I came with my camera and tripod because I had planned on photographing her outdoors, but Maria can't go outside because it's hard for her to breath. I got my tripod, came back inside, and my aunt had already arranged her.

Maria sat still for me, and she wanted to take some photos with her hat on too, and she wanted to do something with her hands, and she opened up her eyes, and she laughed and smiled, and looked like she was thinking of another place. She was clearly in control, and I felt grateful for her inviting me into her world. My aunt said she was ready to go, and I didn't know how to respond.

I'm not sure how to describe the feeling as I left, but for the rest of the day I thought about the things my aunt said about Maria, how she was a very special and religious individual. She said everyone comes to pray with her because when she prays for you, your wishes and dreams are answered each and every time.

"Lab."

2010-04-18T01:53:00.000-07:00

I've made some time to "experiment."

Roses.

2010-04-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a sucker for a good horoscope.

2010-04-17T12:49:00.001-07:00

CANCER (June 21-July 22): First the negatives: Don’t be a martyr to what you’ve won. Don’t let your success oppress you. Don’t become a slave to the useful role you’ve earned. Don’t neglect your own needs as you serve the needs of those who admire you for what you give. Now let’s try a more positive way to frame the challenges ahead of you: Keep questioning whether the fruits of your victories are still enjoyable and fulfilling to you. Make sure the triumphs of the past don’t get in the way of the potential triumphs of the future. Find out how your success may need to evolve. Push beyond what’s good and head in the direction of what’s great.

My goodness am I a sucker for a good horoscope, what an eery feeling to have something or someone outside of you communicate and put into words things that you have been grasping for and feeling, but may have set aside as illegitimate sensations. Not that I would have ever referred to myself in terms of being a "martyr," or admired, or possibly a servant to others (pride and vanity are worlds apart). I must admit that the sudden influx of activity and attention that the collective, and I, have been receiving, makes me feel a little outside of myself. Basically, I'm not use to it, it's new, and I feel like it's some what of a social role that I don't know if I properly fit. I've always been the type to question everything, I'm a bit of a pessimist, and prefer a realistic route (due to the fact that I have already tried living a fantastical, assumptive life, and it was a lesson learned). I think I can say that I never intended to be classified as an "artist," without the statement being detrimental. So, that's it. This is all very new to me, and more than anything, it's surreal. It's almost as if I'm on the outside looking in.

To have been covered by The Current on multiple occasions, by WOAI and San Antonio Living, The SouthSide Reporter (three times), The Prensa, The Express News (comes out in tomorrow's paper), BackBeat Magazine, 2 Cammy awards, a residency in LA, a gallery show that has been intentionally prolonged....in a month, at times makes me want to run for cover and hide (because I don't know what to say) but at the same time I am ecstatic, because this is all much bigger than me. There is no grasping for notoriety on my end because I have not lost my purpose, which is to give back to the community that has supported and given me so much, and to make my family proud.

Everything has happened so fast that I have had little time to sit, soak it up, analyze, and put it into perspective.

I've been given good advice, bad advice, and questionable advice. My favorite conversation to recall is "It's a business, that's how you have to see it." Really? Interesting, because that's what I wanted to stay away from. But, I think I can navigate appropriately, and I'm sure an argument can be built against that statement.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because it's actually quite the opposite. I am so grateful that I am more determined than ever to stay true to myself, to the community I love, and to direct my energy towards a constructive, positive life.

Thank you.

p.s. I recently got asked to be a part of a show at the Museo Alameda. I'm gonna be showing at a museum. What???

(the Museo space, and my wall)

THE PRENSA!

2010-04-12T20:14:00.001-07:00

I love it that we are in The Prensa!

"Dogs Mark Territory in Mexican Art."

Sweet!!

Southside Reporter!

2010-04-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

Noi Mahoney, Editor of the Southside Reporter came out to the "Meet The Artists" event at the Guadalupe Gallery where Más Rudas gave a tour of the instillation and talked about our inspiration and goals for the show, and he wrote a great article about it. There was great conversation and interaction from all that came. In attendance were family, and friends, reps from local animal care facilities (who promised to alert city officials and get them to view our show), and the room was buzzing with the impact we all want to make in regards to the stray animal issue. We made lots of connections, shared our resources, and I walked away with a feeling of momentum that I hope lasts. What a great evening!

Check out our Southside Reporter article here:

Art show chronicles plight of San Antonio's ‘dogs'

Backbeat Magazine, April issue.

2010-04-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hey, thats me:

Thank you, Frank!

San Anto Cultural Arts Wheat Paste Project

2010-04-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

The students and I have completed our first wheatpaste project, and we are all ready for our next, BIGGER paste up (which will happen this summer). The images went up on the soon to be home of San Anto Cultural Arts, on the corner of El Paso and Chupaderas. If you have a minute swing by and check out the photos of the future residents of 2120 El Paso.

Más Rudas on the San Antonio Living show!

2010-04-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

("hey Shelly," hahaha)

San Antonio Current - ARTS: Biting back

2010-04-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Thank you to Natalia for reviewing our show. Read our review in The Current, here:

San Antonio Current - ARTS: Biting back

(p.s We hardly ever drink Starbucks [but hey, who's perfect?]......we have some strong points to make in the idea of re-defining what Chicana means to us, and if you have any questions in regards to what we were quoted saying we would be happy to explain in detail)

Biting back
San Antonio's Chicana collective takes in Westside strays

COURTESY PHOTO

Transforming Galeria Tonantzin into SA's west side

By Natalia Ciolko
The women of Chicana art collective Más Rudas sprawl on the floor of the Galería Tonantzin as a tray of Starbucks arrives. Ruth Buentello, whom the others call “the artist,” eyes her venti cup with alarm. “You said get the big one!” insists Mari Hernandez, the photographer, and pushes it toward her. Kristen Gamez, a filmmaker, turns up a mix of freestyle on the boombox and everyone gets back to painting the walls. It’s another long night in anticipation of the group’s first full exhibit, timed perfectly for San Antonio’s Contemporary Art Month.

Despite the strong stirrings of girl power in the gallery tonight, the subject matter of operation Canis Familiaris is San Antonio’s stray-animal problem, itself complicated by human notions of machismo.

“For me the machno-ness is just seeing the stray mothers,” Gamez said. “It’s this lot they have no choice in. They’re in heat, the male dog dominates them, and they’re left with these babies that they have to nurse and find food for. It’s something I’m definitely going to identify with my piece, connecting to these females.”

CAM

Mas Rudas Collective:
Operation Canis Familiaris
Through Apr 16
Galeria Tonantzin
Guadalupe Cultural Arts
Center
guadalupeculturalarts.org

By opening night, the gallery’s formerly blank walls had transformed into street scenes of San Antonio’s West Side, direct reflections of the neighborhood surrounding the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center. As visitors entered the streetscape, miniature televisions glowed with images of strays in the urban wild. Buentello’s cardboard paintings of dogs and men stand away from the minimal black-and-white walls, leading into the orange living room of a family home. Hernandez’s black-and-white portraits of beloved animals and the details of recreated domesticity induced visitors and family members to relax on couches and add beer cans to the already-realistic scene.

But opening night was just the beginning: Más Rudas will participate in a gallery walkthrough April 1, at Meet the Artists, followed a week later by a spoken-word poetry event in the space, in collaboration with San Anto Cultural Arts. The show will culminate in a Westside dog show and closing reception in the parking lot of the Guadalupe. By far the most unusual aspect of the exhibit is a free spay-and-neuter clinic scheduled for March 31.

SpaySA, a nonprofit that provides subsidized services in Bexar County, says it’s able to work anywhere — a gym, a hall, anyplace will do. Because the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center is located in Council District 5, the organization has funds available to offer free spay or neutering services for 100 animals, plus $10 rabies shots.

“Because we come from this issue and we’re faced with it, and even some of our families are a part of the issue, we wanted to provide something to service the community,” Gamez said. “It’s not about looking down. It’s just something that we need to provide some kind of recourse for.”

The stakes and scale of this show are vastly bigger than the group’s first effort, a barely publicized art-show-cum-house-party titled Our Debut: Quince at 30, in which the then-nameless collective explored the rite of womanly passage they each skipped in adolescence, and in doing so touched on topics ranging from teen pregnancy to consumerism. [See “A quinceañera, 15 years late,” December 22, 2009.]

Scarcely two months later, opportunity presented itself. Cruz Ortiz, orchestrating the second installment of the Guadalupe’s Artists Curating Artists, chose Más Rudas to take over Galería Tonantzin at the Guadalupe.

“We didn’t have much time, but we knew we couldn’t pass this up,” Buentello said, a hint of amazement registering on her face even now. Things are moving quickly, but not to anyone’s dismay.

Gamez described meeting her fellow collective chicas as a watershed moment that came at a time when she felt adrift. “I could do this 24 hours a day,” she said. “I could get off work, come here, and paint these black lines on the walls until 2 or 3 in the morning or whenever it gets done because I like what we’re doing and I feel good when I’m around them.”

Más Rudas’ origin story should make other aspiring artists feel good, too; to date, the women estimate that — aside from prints of Hernandez’s photos — the show has cost them less than $20 to put together. Found materials and old paint make up most of it, and the spay-neuter services were donated. Creativity and group action made it happen, and the audience the women say they hope to influence most are the Westside youths in whom they see themselves.

“I want them to know their passions can be nurtured,” said Más Rudas’ Sarah Castillo, who is currently pursuing her B.A. in art at UTSA. “My parents did not really support me and my creative side growing up. It was just something that I did, and I placed value on it but the adults in my life didn’t. I know firsthand how that could cause confusion or setbacks.”

Buentello, a painter, says kids should know that Chicano art doesn’t have to look a certain way. “When I was growing up, I thought Chicano artists could only exhibit in a certain part of town, or could only do work that’s made on canvas and in a frame, but when you think about what we’re doing, we’re really stepping out of that,” she said. “You can redefine what Chicano means.” •

Natalia Ciolko is a San Antonio native and UT-Austin graduate living and writing in SA.

The making of Canis Familiaris

2010-04-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

With the help of friends and family we installed our exhibit in the late hours of 7 days. Big THANK YOU to all that came to help us: Ricardo, Joe, Chad, Natalia, Audrya, Taj, and to our families who allowed us to borrow the certain home adornments to complete the interior.

Our first gallery show consisted of almost 4 times more space than we had to work with before.

In between our work schedules, our homes, our families, and the time we needed to work on our individual pieces, we constructed an instillation that makes me proud. There's something that happens when I come together with these ladies, a dynamic thats difficult to put into works. A lot of hard work went into making our first gallery show a success, we new we had to. A few times along the way I was pessimistic, and now, I realize that I had no reason to be.

Flores Tire Shop adorns a wall.

Cristina and Ruth evaluating the images to be painted on the walls.

A fence made by Ruth and Taj from found home siding.

We appreciate her feedback.

Painting the wall.

A rare show of stress.

Kristin and Mari working hard.

Ruth and her hammer.

Before and After.

2010-04-02T08:13:00.001-07:00

Before and after shots of two spaces in the instillation.

2010 CAM Awards.

2010-03-31T07:46:00.000-07:00

Contemporary Art Month is an even that " seeks to promote and raise the national profile of San Antonio contemporary art and artists by organizing and facilitating a month-long celebration of contemporary art, providing marketing support, and by organizing and facilitating public education programs."

When Más Rudas were first asked to do the show at the Guadalupe we realized that it would fall during CAM (Contemporary Art Month). What we didn't know is that our show would be added to the CAM calendar as an official event, or that we would be considered for an award at the end. I was first exposed to what I thought to be the "art scene" years ago, by proxy. I'm glad to know now, what I assumed to to be the end all, was really just a small corner of larger diverse creative community in San Anto. CAM was something that I heard about over the years, but to be honest, it just didn't seem as if it was something I'd end up being involved with.

Four months after the inception of our collective, Más Rudas were the recipients of 2 CAM awards, honoring our first gallery show at The Guadalupe Gallery. I believe out of six woman of color to receive awards that night, we were five of them. I think that is what I am most proud of. We stay rooted in our devotion to community building and awareness. We can talk to all the young people we work with and mentor and show them what we have accomplished, and with assurance, explain to them that they are capable of the same.

The aftermath of our gallery show has proven to be a whirlwind of opportunity, events, and everything we never expected. It's affirming and inspiring, but at the same time nerve racking and delicate.

The other morning, after days of being busy with the show and its effects I went back to work. As I approached the office and I heard the laughter and bickering amongst the kids I mentor and work with, it all became a little more clear. They are why, they are the cause, they are the effect. I have always known this, but with several new accomplishments under my belt, I some how felt that they are also a few steps closer to their goals and dreams.

In presenting our awards Patty Ortiz, Executive Director from the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, and Rene Barilleaux, Chief Curator from the McNay Art Museum, said some very nice things about our collective, and our work, biggest Thank You to them. Thank you CAM for recognizing our hard work, it is truly an honor. You left us speechless.

Opening Night.

2010-03-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Opening night, sporadic moments of happiness, pleasure, and accomplishment:

Protection.

2010-03-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

While our entire exhibit was a collaborative effort my individual pieces resided within the "interior" of our installation. These images evolved from a parade of thoughts revolving around protection, responsibility, culture, machismo, home, and family. I have never photographed perros, or any animal for that matter, in a controlled setting. I walk away knowing I'm not the one leading the shoot, they are. I became overly patient, and tolerant of doggie slobber and hair. In the end I have decided to expand the series because I enjoyed the process, as well as the company.

A lot of the time people attain animals for protection, they act like an alarm, like burglar bars, a warning tethered to a tree, or caged by a fence. We sometimes fail to do our job, to hold up our end of the bargain. The images of religious iconography act as a form of protection over these, and for all, perros. The fotos were printed 24 X 36 and mounted to the wall.

Mallory

Máquina

Marley

Uki

Ralph

Tomorrow is our gallery show.

2010-03-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up with a sense of calmness I haven't felt in weeks (or maybe I am just extremely exhausted). We haven't finished our entire instillation, but we are very close, and tonight is our deadline. For a week straight our evenings have been spent in creative unison in order to transform the gallery into what we see in our imaginations. I must admit that I was a little scared that it wouldn't work, that some where along the way, something was bound to blow, or fall, or look really bad, but my nerves have been eased, thanks to the members of Más Rudas. I have been a part of a few groups, organizations, etc. and, naturally, there was always someone to pick up after. I don't feel like that with these ladies, they're determination and creativity blows me away. I worry about how I am going to get everything done, then I start freaking out, and then I remember I have 4 friends to lean on, and they may have already got the job done just as good, if not better. Our creativity is aligned and the atmosphere we produce is better than I can articulate my intentions to be.

Sometimes I catch myself standing dead still in the middle of the space zoning out, not sure what to do next, then I catch the wave of one of the ladies, and together we make some crazy stuff happen.

This week has been a trip...

(sneak peak)

Marquee!

2010-03-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

I must say, Más Rudas looks very nice on that Marquee.

(I am very excited!!!!!!)

Gallery Card.

2010-03-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

DOPE!

(Check all the events we have going on for the month)

Our first gallery show, before.

2010-03-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

Más Rudas have thoroughly impressed me. Last Wednesday we began installing in the gallery. In between our busy schedules and lives we have put together an "ambitous" and "impressive" show in less than a month. Our first gallery show has challenged us in ways we were never expecting, but it's been welcomed and confronted head on, and I think I will let our work speak for everything. This is more than being creative and adorning, we are steeped in social awareness, we are adamant and determined to act on issues we feel deeply about.

4 months ago we came together and affirmed ourselves as a collective, we had one show about a month later, now our first gallery show is almost done, puro DIY...puro San Anto.

This is the gallery, before....

Wheatpaste Project day 2.

2010-03-13T08:18:00.000-08:00

We prolonged the workshop so that the participants could be included in every step of the process. Last week our images were printed, we then cut out the part of the image that would be pasted up on the building. After we were done cutting the image we took a nice walk with our cameras in hand, and visited the building we would be pasting up.

Next week the action starts! I think the end results are going to be super fun. We are already thinking of making the project bigger, so if you have a building you would like San Anto Cultural Arts to beautify with fotos, give us a holler.

Here are some images of the participants carefully cutting the photos.

Then and Now.

2010-03-09T07:11:00.000-08:00

The Three.

Then, circa 2002.

(at a San Anto Cultural Arts Mural Blessing)

Now, 2010.

(at the 2010 International Women's Day March in San Anto, Tx)

San Anto Cultural Arts Wheat Paste Project!

2010-03-03T16:25:00.000-08:00

The students taking fotos of each other. We explained we wanted motion, and to try and capture each other in states of movement. They are so awesome!!

The first day of our wheat paste project was a complete success! I started by explaining a short history and showing some videos of what wheat pasting is. Then the students were put into pairs, instructed on how to take photos of each other, and we were off! Of course most of the students have been involved in numerous photography projects so their skills are quality. We were concentrating on motion and portraits. From here, we get the photos printed on paper and next week we go to the building and paste them up on the wall. Below is a youtube short I showed, to give them an idea of what they would be doing.

"When I Grow Up," project.

2010-03-01T06:33:00.000-08:00

"I want to be a National Geographic Photographer when I grow up." -Mari (age 8)

Más Rudas recently submitted a grant for funds to direct a (massive) youth and photography oriented project in the summer of 2010. Sarah Castillo, 1/5 of Más Rudas wrote the entire grant, and I submitted the first example photo for the workshop. Sarah crossed all her t's and dotted all her i's, and I am hoping if I put this request out into the universe it will happen. It's our first grant submission and if we don't get it, we can keep on trying, and if we do get it.......I'd be speechless.

The project deals with dreams and goals, with sets and scenes constructed by the photographer.

Wish us luck, please.

Young, Gifted, and Brown.

2010-02-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

Mas Rudas Collective: Operation Canis Familiaris.

2010-02-25T07:46:00.000-08:00

MARCH 18, 2010. Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center,

Galeria Tonantzin, 723 S. Brazos, San Antonio, Texas.

artists curating artists exhibition.

Cool Stuff.

2010-02-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

YES! YES! YES!

Broken Brick Distro.

Tough.

2010-02-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

Mas Rudas have chosen to address a very serious issue for our next show. I realize that I have attempted to sugar coat my piece in some way or another, and it's completely impossible for me to do. I realize that in creating something, I have to throw myself into a place that I don't necessarily want to be. I have to confront and see things I chose to ignore on a daily basis, because I don't know what else to do. It's a sense of hopelessness that permeates a people who notice.

In getting ready for the show I have thought about everything but where I have to go, and I know why, because where I have to go is gonna be really hard for me to handle.

Circa 2002.

2010-02-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

I follow the blogs of the MFA students that attend the photography school I want to go to. The school actually keeps a blog where the students post their assignments for the world to see and critique. I could get lost in that blog for days, it's already happened.

One of the assignments they did was to make a list of 50 things "you never do," when taking a photograph. You pick 5 of those things, and you do them.

I think it's genius, on so may levels. For the upcoming show I have decided to shoot with film. I'm gonna step out of my digital comfort zone and challenge myself. I have become too comfortable with my digital camera. It's time to take a different direction.

I spent some time scanning in some old negatives. In 2002 I took my first (and only) photography class, I had just purchased a Nikon Fm10 (completely manual film camera), and I was in love with it. It's the same camera I will use to shoot for the show in March.

Back in the day...

(that's me)

We have a name.

2010-02-17T08:25:00.000-08:00

After some months, we have finally come up with a name for our collective. I think it fits:

MÁS RUDAS: CHICANA COLLECTIVE

C/S

Mas Rudas first gallery show.

2010-02-17T06:37:00.000-08:00

March 18, 2010 will be the first gallery show for Mas Rudas: Chicana Collective.

@ The Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center Galeria Tonantzin

This is a big deal for us, because none of us, at any point feels automatically entitled to such things. At the same time we are so excited that we, as woman of color, have been given this opportunity to represent who we are and where we come from creatively. It's an amazing feeling to represent your home, when it has been misrepresented in so many ways, for so long. When you wonder the streets of your city and hardly ever see a reflection of yourself within the things that are considered landmarks, or valuable. Proper representation is deep, and while it is subjective, there is a flavor and knowledge that is clear when appreciation is at the root. I attended a lecture on the topic of Art and Culture once, it was emphasized that art, at it's best, comes from the streets. When I say "from the streets," I don't mean to appropriate an urban culture that is negative and glorified at the same time. I'm not "from the streets," I never struggled in that sense, and I find it especially sad when people glorify the lifestyle, because if you were really "from the streets," it may not be something that you would want to necessarily perpetuate. I understand that "from the streets," is bought and sold just like sombrero hats at the market square, but let me clarify what I mean. When I say "from the streets," I mean from the community, I mean it starts in the people, every day people.

At this point we are solidifying details for the show. We don't have much time...but I have found a source of inspiration for myself:

Mas Rudas have a less than a month to produce a body of work. Wish us luck..

Stay tune for mas details!!

Visual Literacy and Foto Chemistry.

2010-02-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

I am a self-diagnosed visual learner. I was reading about learning styles recently and I have all the symptoms:

-Likes pictures (duh!)

-Neat surroundings (well, I try ::polishes nails on shoulder)

-Reading to self

-A quiet working environment

-Organize thoughts by writing things down

-Visualization

-Step-by-step written instructions

And I do things like this:

One of my year long goals is to make a darkroom in our storage area. It was a summer goal but my schedule is phat at the moment. I am currently reading about and taking notes on everything needed to construct one. Right now I am reading about foto chemistry, it's the entire process of how to mix chemicals, measurements, D-76 and Dektrol, etc. It's so freaking exciting. So I am taking notes in a way that satisfies my learning preferences. I draw little things to accompany the explanations.

I visualized making an entire short film with fotos and drawings, teaching the chemical process between the emulsion on the foto and the developer. It would be nice to show to budding photographers, it's a necessary piece of information, and sort of brings everything full circle. So I take this little book of notes wherever I go, and I work on it a bit here, a bit there. When it's done, I'll put it all together and see what happens.

NY (see you soon)

2010-02-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this NY series I started a while back, I hope I have some time soon to really complete it..The plan is to print these on a massive scale. I think it's the detail that makes me adore this series. It's like they took on a life of their absolute own, minus me.

Ledaswan.

2010-02-10T21:31:00.000-08:00

I recently photographed the band Ledaswan, and I had a great time. I never know what to expect when I photograph musicians, so I try to not project or formulate how I will capture them until I get there, meet them, and get a feel of the band. I think if you go into it already knowing what you are going to do, how your gonna pose them, etc., your not really capturing them, there is some artificiality to it, that is sometimes communicated through the photos. I'd like to stay away from that.

I took many fotos of the band, but after a while I really wanted to take some images that reflected what it felt like to be in their practice space. It was small, cozy, and LOUD. I was encircled by a 5 piece band jamming their hearts out, and every part of my body was vibrating. Not because I was dancing, although it would have been awesome to chill and really enjoy the sound, to get lost in their dreamy music would have been a great. I felt every single drum beat, every string from the guitar as if it had originated in me, and was shaking around and rhythmatically beating my insides.

I wanted to make some images the reflected the movement and vibration, something that really portrayed what it felt like to be in close quarters, to be invited in, with them. So I adjusted my settings, and these are the results:

Thank you to Ledaswan for having me..

Viva La Revolucion.

2010-02-10T09:32:00.000-08:00

San Anto Cultural Arts' has an amazing oral history project. It's rooted in video, while the subject is interviewed by one of the students, our videographer films. I document the process through fotos. Last week we interviewed and recorded a Brown Beret from the southside of San Anto, born and raised. He warmly invited us into his cozy home, we had cupcakes (because it was his birthday), he explained to us that he was very sick, and he may leave this world soon...and he left us with his one wish. His story was inspiring, and his knowledge and advice, invaluable. The oral history project is a biography of a people that are rarely recognized in the history books. For multiple reasons they are overlooked, but we know better than to forget these important individuals, because within them, is our history as well. This man, and his coalition, although they had never meet me before, fought the system for me, and my family, and my friends, and the people I love..

"Education and knowledge is your weapon."

Dear ......

2010-02-09T07:07:00.000-08:00

To the students I work with at the school-

I don't have any formal teacher training, and I have never been taught how to deal with kid's emotional problems. But I was once your age, and I had many problems of my own, sorry mom....

In retrospect I realize that I would have benefitted from a mentor, so that's why I'm here, I see a little of me in you. Someone recently told me that working with kids like you, although I refuse to stereotype you, is impossible to do forever, because apparently it kills dreams. I don't believe that for a second, but I think I may know why some adults feel that way. I think it's because you have an unusual strength, a strength built by you in response to your surroundings, it's necessary and won't be conquered. You know more than we give you credit for, and you have already realized that this world you are being built for is hypocritical, unfair, boring, and demeaning at times. You have an energy that was long ago purposefully diluted in us, and some of your adult peers find yours inappropriate, and want to water you down. I suggest you fight that, run, yell, move, laugh, and wiggle so that your smile never fades. I'd like to apologize if I seem like I know more than you all the time, because I don't, and I don't intend to pretend like I do. I won't falsify things for you. I think your natural state is of a natural progression and the real world fills you with synthetics until what's natural is extinct. Don't be the death of your race, work hard to understand healthy, fair, positive, constructive, happy, valuable, and you. If you do, you will remain strong and unbroken, and within you will grown the revolution that is longed for.

A new friend, a true revolutionary, told me the the other day that "education and knowledge is your weapon," so don't be mislead by a world who labels you destructive, a menace, a lost hope, a stereotype, at-risk..Don't fight back with the negativity that is instilled in you by society. Fight back by proving them wrong---like when they tell you NO, and you say YES....that's what I'm talking about.

Never would I have thought that I would end up here, working with you, working at the school my parents went to. They told me "It was bad back then..." I don't think it's bad...and my parents turned out to amazing, intellegent people, and so can you. Yo prometo.

"If education should really mean anything at all, it must insist upon the free growth and development of the innate forces and tendencies of the child. In this way alone can we hope for the free individual and eventually also for a free community, which shall make interference and coercion of human growth impossible."

-Emma Goldman on Youth Liberation

In solidarity,

Mari

First Female Lead Fotographer

2010-02-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

2010 will be the year of San Anto Cultural Arts' 3rd annual summer foto project. This year I am the project's FIRST FEMALE LEAD FOTOGRAPHER (yeah, I think that's pretty cool, too). Doope.

This means I am responsible for completely constructing the workshop, which is 5 days long and last for about 5-6 hours a day. In the end the groups work will be put on display in a show of their very own.

This year is a year of firsts for the workshop. Not only am I the FIRST FEMALE LEAD FOTOGRAPHER, but this year the students will have their show in real gallery space, and I say that because in the past their shows have been in spaces that weren't solely for art. They will visit photography studios for the first time, and they will work with a combination of sound and photography to produce multimedia works that are sure to be the bomb. This year instead of focusing on the community they come from, their work will centered on the individual photographer.

This is gonna be deep....

A week long workshop may seem like lots of time, which leaves my head swarming and overflowing with multiple topics and assignments. The reality of working and teaching 15-25 students (our group goal) fotography, makes a weeks time not nearly enough.

For the past 2 years I was the additional photographer, I was the assistant to the lead. I know exactly what to expect, and above all I know what sort of amazing and beautiful images the group will produce. The workshop will take place in June, and their show will be in July. I'm already preparing, because every detail needs to be checked, so that these students walk away with a positive, educational, and inspirational experience. Every year we have worked with a group of diverse young adults, that walk away with their head held high, and some cash flow in their pocket after their foto has sold.

We intend to blow some minds. So mark July 10th 2010 on your calendars for:

SAN ANTO CULTURAL ARTS' 2010 SUMMER FOTO PROJECT: Producing San Anto's sure to be lead fotographers.

(Daniela teaching a nino how to focus)

Internalizing home.

2010-02-08T07:58:00.000-08:00

I was one told that home is inside of you, it's wherever you go, because it's not embodied by your physical surroundings-in fact, our attachment to physical things actually leads to problems and may be the source of unhappiness. Some of us spend time perfecting a personal space, constructing an area that emits and encompasses us, a place where the walls are a clear reflection of our past, dreams, goals, and creative expression. Sometimes it's like a creative to-do list, our surroundings may mimic where we want to go, because we haven't quite made it there yet. I pin up fotos, I tape quotes, and I project myself onto the walls because who you are, is what you surround yourself with. I believe in the power of visual literacy, and I prefer my home to speak to me positively, to pat me on the back, and to remind me that I intend to lead, and not follow. Because we know that the outside world has the ability to diminish you and your dreams, it insults our visual taste, and dumbs down our intelligence by using images to persuade instead of educate. What I also realize is the I am privileged enough to have a roof over my head, in where I can create my own world. But what happens when you don't? How do I wrap up everything thats important and speaks to me, and lock it inside to carry it with me wherever I go-so that no matter where I end up, home is ever present?

Last summer I thought by now that I would have moved, I would be attending the photography school that I had chosen, and I would be sorely missing "home" in my new environment. So I made a plan, I determined finances, I spoke to the necessary people, and I realized that if I was gonna do this right, I needed to wait....

Usually I would have had no problem taking out a lifetime of loans, packing my stuff, and leaving loose ends and people behind. But I want this too bad to not be careful along the way. I know the school I want to get in to only accepts the most serious, prepared, educated, and devoted of photographers. They want people that take initiative, and have a good balance of academic plus real world skills. Plus I don't plan on paying for school out of my own pocket, again.

So here I am, getting ahead, securing, preparing, and backing up my goals and intentions. I'm amazed at the opportunities that have come, and continue to come my way. Sometimes I feel as if someone is watching over me, making sure that I do my job, and I live up to my word, while they create a clear path studded with everything I really want and need along the way. And all of these experiences are embodied inside of me, so that wherever I go, when I get there, I will be at home.

Oh, snap.

2010-02-03T08:27:00.000-08:00

One of the projects I have in the making is a wheat paste workshop and throw up (not as in regurgitating but as in [in this case, legally, since this project is for the ninas/os] putting a fancy piece on the wall, and makin' the building look all "urban" fancy.) I truly appreciate the public attempts at beautifying the community through public work, for everyone, done by anyone. Let me clarify that I don't appreciate tags and graff that make my neighborhood look deprecating and immature. We are going to be working with fotographs, taken by the participants.

BOOYA: SAN ANTO CULTURAL ARTS' 2010 WHEAT PASTE THROW UP.

I'm putting together the workshop, and my fellow Chicana Colectiva members are assisting in running and documenting the process. It gives the young participants a sense of art outside of white walls. Art that reflects them and their community, put on display indiscriminately.

This is the building that we will be beautifying with fotographs.

Don't know what wheat pasting is? ----> READ ME

STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS! on all upcoming projects. Including: San Anto's 2010 Summer Foto Project, San Anto's poetry and foto night with Krazy Vatos, La Colective collaborations with inner city schools, y La Colectiva in L.A....yes, as in Los Angeles.

Paz!

Inspiration.

2010-01-28T08:28:00.000-08:00

Everything has the possibility to be a form of inspiration. I am working out some projects in my head. I always find myself going back to the work of Cindy Sherman, she did same dope "film stills," that I find inspiring. I pull a little from her, a little from somewhere else, a little from things past, and I squash it all together in hopes that the outcome will communicate things not easy to put into words. Color and light can make or break a foto, heavy concentration in these areas, to me, can at times supercede the lone image.

2010-01-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

Over the past weekend Jay and I went to visit family in San Diego, Tx. The madre-in-law was throwing a party that the entire town of San Diego turned out to. If you have family, or you are from South Texas, you know exactly what I'm talking about here. Rancho life is very distinct, South Texas culture is thick, and difficult to articulate. A people rich with tradition and history sustain the communities, towns, and cities of South Texas...and they know how to party.

Orale San Diego, you are king of the Conjunto!

Jay's mom asked us to make the invite for the party...Novela o que? We had very distinct instructions as to what she wanted...we had a little fun with it. The two top fotos I had actually taken at the ranch during our previous visit.

Jay's grandfather owned a cantina for many years, it was destroyed, but the jukebox which held many rare 45's, was passed on to Jay. Rare music of South Texas, rancho music, will now be passed down through the coming generations, and it will all trace back to a small family owned cantina. He played many of the records at the party.

For the Ninas/os.

2010-01-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

What a sad thing that I'm not able to keep up with my blog like I use to before. But "smile now, cry later," because there's too many great things clogging the air around me. I'm working 2 jobs, both involve working with youth in two drastically different settings. My perspective on youth education is changing by the day, the wheels in my head turn and strain to understand this system that's suppose to benefit. There is no doubt in my mind that I am impacting these kids, but something bigger must happen. Our inner city schools are a facade of regulation, when you peel back the layers, it seems as if the root just buries itself deeper. It's not up to the school to fix, or heal your children, in fact, it may just add to the problem in some cases. What we need is a radical makeover, but will that happen in this life time? So in the mean time, I have carved out a small part for myself. I know I can't save them all, and I have no illusions that I can, but I can help them to understand that there is hope, and at the same time they need not compromise.

"Every institution of our day, the family, the state, our moral codes, sees in every strong, beautiful, uncompromising personality a deadly enemy; therefore every effort is being made to cramp human emotion and originality of thought of the individual into a strait-jacket from its earliest infancy; not into a well-rounded individuality, but into a patient work-slave, professional automation, tax-paying citizen, or righteous moralist."

-Emma Goldman on Youth Liberation

The Chicana Colective is currently working on community outreach, and our focus, the ninas/os. Stay tuned for details...

SUPPORT!

2010-01-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

(Lisa Frank-Briana)

Wonderlady Kristin Gamez, 1/5 of our collective, is 1/4 of Las Hijas de La Chingada. Lisa Frank's (punk/grunge) first show! Check these ladies out here. An all female punk band, RAD. SUPPORT SUPPORT SUPPORT what you want to see more of..

Get to steppin'

2010-01-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

The corner of Zarzamora and Menchaca, very close to the middle school I work at.

Dear American Apperal-

You give "American" a bad name, and you add to it's stigmatization. Please refrain from slapping up your ridiculously manufactured images in our neighborhood, our neighborhood does not reflect your cut and paste standard of beauty, nor do we want to. Your game is transparent, and we will not sit down and allow you to brainwash our community. Your gentrification inspired tactics are not welcomed, and are out of place here.

I don't care how soft your t-shirts are, your shiz is played out. Get to steppin' and take your pinche advertisement with you.

We are making this shiz happen.

2010-01-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

In retrospect, 2009.

2010-01-01T08:59:00.001-08:00

A very small retrospect in fotos. Dear 2009, thank you for picking me up once you kicked me down. Thanks for dropping me off in the middle of nowhere, safely, to return home on my own, somehow, someway, someday.

2010 is for no expectations. Keep it real 2009. I'm out.

Kristin Gamez (is the bomb):

2009-12-31T09:59:00.000-08:00

My girl Kristin is the bomb. This is the mockumentary she made for our show. HILARIOUS!!

The best art book ever!

2009-12-31T08:47:00.000-08:00

There are days when I reeeally miss working at the book store, only because of the books. I was surrounded by, overloaded with, reading, viewing, and listening material. It was a definite luxury. It was like paradise, but at the same time you had a monster watching your every move, I'll leave it at that.

Anywho, WACK: Art And The Feminist Revolution, is one of my most prized possessions. I waited patiently for it, thinking about it everyday, and when it finally arrived, I lunged forward for it, pressing it against my chest, protecting it from those grubby little customer hands. It has provided endless inspiration, and the coolest thing about it is the inscription inside. Around the time I got the book (and devoured the inside) artist, Lorraine O'Grady was in town (07'), who was one of the artists talked about in the book. And as much as I would like to recount our conversations and meeting, I'm not the type of person who falls over artists and fakes the funk, so we had very normal and cool contact. I'd like to catch up with her someday and tell her how whenever I am feeling stuck, or bound, I read what she wrote and it elates me....as well as makes me wonder:

"For Mari,

My roller-derby feminista friend, with appreciation for updating the work in this book with a new image--The tough, feminine professional with freak tattoos! Keep up the good work--

All best wishes,

Lorraine O'Grady"

Lorraine,

I adore your hair, and thank you for making a dress out of 180 white dinner gloves and whipping yourself with them, as part of a performance piece against black oppression. Your the bomb.

p.s. Next time you come to San Anto you might be interested in seeing a different side of it, a more colorful side.

In solidarity,

Mari

CHECK OUT LORRAINE O'GRADY HERE

My friend Sarah Castilllo.

2009-12-29T16:11:00.000-08:00

Mi amiga, Sarah Castillo, puede coser como un sweat shop worker. All I had to do was pay her nuthing, and she did it out of the kindness of her heart. I threw her cosas tontos y ella coser un vestido better than Jesus, if he were a seamstress instead of a carpenter, would make.

Y Sarah es la amiga you wanna have. Because if shortness runs en tu familia she can hem your pants. And even better, she's naturally sweet y tiene un corazon gigante(no como tu!), and I hope a little of that will rub off on me.

Sarah making the skirt for my foto, check it:

2009-12-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTIN!

2009-12-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

Kristin,

Happy Birthday to you, amiga. Salut to a new year with great, HUGE, GARGANTUAN,awesome things to come. Your the dopest, and I dig your friendship like a phat kid loves cake (mmm, cake).

amor por vida,

Chumina Castleridge

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, KRISTIN!

Estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David,
Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti,
Despierta, mi bien*, despierta, mira que ya amaneció,
Ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió.

Que linda está la mañana en que vengo a saludarte,
Venimos todos con gusto y placer a felicitarte,
Ya viene amaneciendo, ya la luz del día nos dio,
Levántate de mañana, mira que ya amaneció...

Kristin's Kantina Karaoke Birthday celebration!

We rocked that shiz.

Birthday Girl!

Quinceanera outtakes!

2009-12-28T00:41:00.001-08:00

OUTTAKES!!

I read once that in order to become a good photographer, you MUST take LOTS of photos. For every 40 photos I take, I LOVE...ONE of them (maybe).

You think your all bad, or what!?

2009-12-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

...as a matter of fact, yes, we do. That's why we don't smile. AHHHHHH.

Mira, mira, look at us, in The Current.

Look it, MOM!

(foto by Eric Gustafson for the San Antonio Current)

CLICK HERE TO READ ARE WRITE UP IN THE SAN ANTONIO CURRENT.

Hijole su!!

This is for you.

2009-12-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

OUR DEBUT

Our Debut was a huge success, and we couldn't have wished for more. We would like to extend the biggest abrazos y besos for all the support and love from our family and friends. Your understanding, support, and encouragement is our success. We would like to acknowledge those that have helped us, inspired us, mentored us, those whom we have learned from, people and organizations, there's no way we would be here without you.

This is for you, my friends and family: I could sit here and articulate, draw out, and cite all the reasons why we are doing this. I could stand on my soap box and pound out the importance of strong community, of creative outlets, of breaking cycles of oppression, of loving your neighbor, of continuing positive communal traditions. I could say that we have a big job, that we must preserve the good of our culture, and we must acknowledge and get rid of the bad. I could explain how success should humble you. But I don't think I need to this time, because all of this is reverberating within us. Because we know this, and because we have the tools and power to handle and rise. What are we waiting for? What are we waiting to be acknowledged, or approved by? Let's not wait for a false beginning.

So, instead of reiterating what we all already know, I hope that the reverb of that night, the reverb created by all of us, from all of you, in attendance or not, will be a step to achieving your goals.

La Chicana Collective is not here to be exclusive, we are inclusive. We are not here to be the beginning or the end. We are a small part, creating our history, following in the foot steps of our mentors. This isn't about what we are doing, this is about what WE, as a community, are capable of. Let's do this.

Here are a few fotos of a night that will never be forgotten, this was our Debut:

With a very badass performance by punk/crunk/funk duo PUSSYFOOT:

y

p.s. I love you all like my sisters. Thank you for being such an amazing group of women. -mari

p.s.s Stay tuned for more images of our individual work and artist statements. As well as a peek into the process of making that BADASS petticoat in my self-portrait--made by Sarah Castillo :)

(said petticoat, aka: amazing)

OUR DEBUT IS TOMORROW! COME MEET US.

2009-12-18T21:10:00.001-08:00

LA CHICANA COLLECTIVE

CRISTINA ORDONEZ
(SOUNDSCAPE)

SARAH CASTILLO
(DRAWING)

RUTH BUENTELLO
(PAINTING)

MARI HERNANDEZ
(FOTOGRAPHY)

KRISTIN GAMEZ
(VIDEO)

Coming of age.

2009-12-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

The Quinceanera is a "coming of age" celebration, when a girl becomes a woman. A lot of the time, she is from that point allowed to date, to wear make-up, to go out. Traditionally she was ready for marriage, and for motherhood, all the things that (apparently) define a woman. Everyone comes to witness her grand transformation, her family, her friends, the church.

So what happens to the world of "girls" who never become "women"? Who never have their "coming of age" marked with a grandiose event. What spiritual, social, physical transformation have we missed out on? Where are the "girls" whose family refused to purchase for them adulthood?

Maybe they're like me, the Quince x dos. 30 and waiting for my "coming of age."

Our Debut: Works In Response To The Quinceanera

2009-11-24T23:49:00.000-08:00

Our Chicana Collective has the honor of inviting you and your distinguished family to

OUR DEBUT:

Works In Response To The Quinceanera

December 19th 2009

716 E Euclid

6:00 - 9:00 pm

soundscape. drawing. fotography. painting. video

byob

We are Ruth Buentello, Sarah Castillo, Kristin Gamez, Mari Hernandez, y Christina Ordonez. The works we are producing for our first show are focused on a theme, The Quinceanera. The space will include soundscape, fotography, paintings, drawings, and a video/installation piece. We are proud to present ourselves as Chicanas from San Anto. We are aware of the strong community of women within our city, and this is how we, together, show our support. Viva La Chicana.

C/S

Singing Shirts.

2009-11-22T14:43:00.000-08:00

We are serious like silicone.

2009-11-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: It seems as if looks are prized more than humor. The biggest mistake is to not laugh at yourself, to take yourself so seriously that the mere thought of seeing yourself as a form of humorous entertainment stiffens your back, while you flip your hair, adjust your cleavage, admire your bedazzled fake nails, and present yourself as some sort of being demanding seriousness through your facade of fake adornment. seriously?

La Chicana Colectiva:

DEBUT

(as serious as silicone)

Come meet us December 19th.

Evenings out.

2009-11-22T12:12:00.000-08:00

I imagine you once adorned for a special occasion. People may have watched you from a distance. You may have once made someone feel beautiful, as if she was floating through light above it all. You caught eyes, in an atmosphere of clutter. And you will always be revered and lifted in someone's thoughts.

A new member to La Colectiva.

2009-11-22T12:04:00.000-08:00

And now we are cinco. The organic intellect, the artist of all artists, who brings people and community together because she sees special things. Come visit her painted, immortalized on a mural en la Wesside. In a previous life lead singer to badass Chicano punk band Mal Hecho, La Dama, Cristina.

(circa 04')

Mi Colectiva.

2009-11-22T11:38:00.000-08:00

This is us (minus one new member). We have an organic flow that will unfold over time. We are a Chicana Colectiva, we are working through processes naturally, without rush. We have tiempo, because this is just the beginning. We have backgrounds in filmmaking, painting, muralismo, drawing, photography, and the art of community, plus much more. We have names, titles, statements, floating all around us, and they will gradually fall into place. We present ourselves as a whole, and we respect each other as individuals. We are creating our history, and we are squashing ideals, misconceptions, and static thoughts that attempt to define and confine us. December 19th is our first show.

Hermosa.

2009-11-19T07:35:00.000-08:00

It's the small things.

2009-11-19T07:28:00.000-08:00

The only time I really stress is when I think about my student loans, and other monetary issues. It makes everything around me messy, undoable, undesirable. It puts your down, yells obsenities in your face, and deserts when you need a hand the most. I truly believe without that weight we would be a healthier society. So I take comfort in the little things:

My Quinceanera..

2009-11-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

(Sometimes it's better to live through recorded moments, and remind yourself that the here and now is never permanent. That tomorrow can be better, brighter, and that our balance of existence flows unevenly. And according to what I have been taught, when things reach one extreme they eventually turn into their opposite. Excuse me while I relish, and ignore the clouds at hand.)

I once entertained the thought of throwing salon parties, where everyone invited had to participate creatively. It seemed the perfect way to get to know the women in my community, to see what they were doing, how we could support each other, and what inspiration came of it.

After I had my first show, some friends recommend that I (along with some other females) have a group show. It struck a cord, it reminded me of what I had wanted to do before. I think my affirmation was made through questions. Why don't we have a space of our own? How come there are no Chicana shows in San Anto? Why haven't all of the creative women I know come together to create a space absolutely for themselves? Why aren't the faces of the brown women of my community recognized more often the way they should be?

I have been a part of a few all female organizations, groups, and gatherings, and have learned a thing or two (valuable lessons).

December 19th will be the first show featuring works by 4 Chicanas of my new collective. I say "my" in terms of ours. We are all owners of this collective. We have been coming together, emailing, conversing, and creating something long over due, that reflect us as a new generation of Chicanas. I couldn't be prouder of what's happening, I can't wait to see what unfolds, and what the future holds for us. We are here as women of color, born and raised in San Anto, with culture values that ground us and bring us together, to support and inspire each other. We would like to assist in representing the strong, smart, and creative women of San Anto, because if we don't do it for ourselves, it probably won't get done. The three other women that I am working with are some cool ladies, they are great company, and they are the sort of creative inspiration that I have been searching to surround myself with.

This past week we took some photos that will be a part of our repertoire.

Our first show has a theme, and works will be produced by Ruth Buentello, Sarah Castillo, Kristin Gamez, and Mari Hernandez, in response to: The Quinceanera...

More details to come, I hope to see you December 19th.

(outtake)

Yo!

2009-11-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

Sup'

Public Creativity.

2009-11-06T08:04:00.001-08:00

I suggest you take responsibility in creating an environment reflective of yourself, for all to enjoy.

PUBLIC PETS! a series.

She says: Hello, Friends. I am here to protect and serve you.

A slight alteration.

2009-11-01T20:26:00.000-08:00

I found some colored plastic in a box of stuuuuuff. They're exactly like colored gels! I added a strip to one of the cameras I made. I also placed it in front of the lens of my digital camera. Check it:

Chido!

2009-11-01T15:47:00.000-08:00

For this camera I layered the inside of the box with little mirrors. I am hoping that the light will reflect, and bounce, and do all kinds of crazy stuff when it enters, and produce some cool results. I am slow to use it, because I love the look of it, and in the end dismantling it chips at me little. You know how some musicians destroy their instruments at the end of an epic show, to create a moment in time that can never be touched again. Well..... I don't exactly feel like that about tearing apart the camera once I have used up the role of film, if it weren't so damn good looking.... I am working at a way of being able to remove the back and the film without affecting the "camera body." With each camera I make, I incorporate new ideas. For this one I added the mirrors, and also used the plastic containers film comes in as holding cases for the film. This helps in reducing the amount of tape I have to use in order to block out light leaks.

Stress relief.

2009-10-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

Impact.

2009-10-31T21:17:00.001-07:00

Reunuion.

2009-10-31T14:20:00.001-07:00

I need a reunion:

That's not my shadow.

DIY is the new black.

2009-10-31T10:37:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to build on the process of making pinhole cameras. The juice box served as a great starting point, and I am continuing to manipulate that knowledge. I want to incorporate different types of materials, I want them to look different, and in the end I want the images to be effected by the changes in the construction.

Here are a few that I made recently. I am trying to break down the functions of the materials in a way that I can use and reuse what I have around me.

I bought some small mirrors and the next camera will contain mirrors on the inside. I want to see how the reflection of the light effects the photo. I still have some brainstorming to do, but I can't wait to construct one!

The new black:

December Show.

2009-10-30T22:27:00.001-07:00

In December I am participating in an all female show, with 3 very cool women. More details will surface within the upcoming month. A collective is growing, and it's gonna be something that our community will appreciate. I have a lot of very artistic female friends, why haven't we gotten together sooner and established a space of our own? It's about time..

I can't wait.

I am working on a self-portrait series with a theme. I found this image today and it excited it me, it provided direction. I love Cindy Sherman.

Haiku.

2009-10-30T12:06:00.001-07:00

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

by: mari hernandez

I got a new job

A job that many would love

Adapted not yet.